By Matthew Brimhall and Guest Columnist Jennifer Robinson Is it wrong that I love power bars? I love everything about them. The texture on my tongue, the somewhat nauseating flavor, the fake chocolate. You name it, I love it.
The thing is that they really don’t make me more powerful. When it comes to everyday things, they do work a little, though. I feel more robust, more ready to rock. Maybe it’s mental? Who knows. All I know is that I can’t stay away from those little nuggets of well…power.
Try this exercise. Imagine that all of the aisles at GNC have a different type of super power. The middle aisle is flying, the one to the right is x-ray vision, and the one at the other end is super speed. How about super hearing? That would be great when your kids are whispering about tying you up, while your wife is hanging out with her friends.
(YEAH, my kids did that. I, innocently lying on the couch asleep, them, tying up my arms and feet with tape. Not funny. It took me twenty minutes to get loose and 30 minutes to stick each of their heads in the toilet. I missed an entire hour of TV).
I, for one, would want to fly. I love to travel, but hate going through security. You have to show them your laptop and take off your belt. The worst is when they make you take off your shoes. I despise walking bare foot on the airport floor - GQ recommends going without socks with some types of pants in the summer. It gives you a very streamlined look and makes you feel like you are on vacation.
But flying would be remarkable. If I wanted to go to the Bahamas for a vacation, I would not have to consult a travel agent; I would simply put my family on my back and fly there. Also, while in the Bahamas, after a delicious meal at the resort, I could point to my ear, as if I am sensing trouble, and fly away right before the check comes. No one is going to worry about sticking me for a $400 bill after that type of exit.
So, tell me, what type of power bar are you looking for?
The thing is that they really don’t make me more powerful. When it comes to everyday things, they do work a little, though. I feel more robust, more ready to rock. Maybe it’s mental? Who knows. All I know is that I can’t stay away from those little nuggets of well…power.
Try this exercise. Imagine that all of the aisles at GNC have a different type of super power. The middle aisle is flying, the one to the right is x-ray vision, and the one at the other end is super speed. How about super hearing? That would be great when your kids are whispering about tying you up, while your wife is hanging out with her friends.
(YEAH, my kids did that. I, innocently lying on the couch asleep, them, tying up my arms and feet with tape. Not funny. It took me twenty minutes to get loose and 30 minutes to stick each of their heads in the toilet. I missed an entire hour of TV).
I, for one, would want to fly. I love to travel, but hate going through security. You have to show them your laptop and take off your belt. The worst is when they make you take off your shoes. I despise walking bare foot on the airport floor - GQ recommends going without socks with some types of pants in the summer. It gives you a very streamlined look and makes you feel like you are on vacation.
But flying would be remarkable. If I wanted to go to the Bahamas for a vacation, I would not have to consult a travel agent; I would simply put my family on my back and fly there. Also, while in the Bahamas, after a delicious meal at the resort, I could point to my ear, as if I am sensing trouble, and fly away right before the check comes. No one is going to worry about sticking me for a $400 bill after that type of exit.
So, tell me, what type of power bar are you looking for?
(Editor's note: You to can be a guest columnist if you are witty, an excellent writer and editor and, most importantly, you are willing to forward the link to every single one of your friends)
4 comments:
Son I have some love to throw your way but I'll hit you up when I am on the web at night, listening to metallica in the buds and surfing. But I had toleave you with this gem...
This is one of the best Kick-A sites on the web. It is a fav (in my fav 5 if you will). And best of all, I know much of this comes up on the fly. I don't think for a second you have an outline, then a rough draft and then a final. This isn't Cyprus High circa 1991.
Hut hut hut.
DUDE - Alright, you have officially taken over the top spot of my favorite all time comments….thank you….
Sweet nectar...this isbetter than getting racked on the Jim Rome show!!
I would be more than honored to be a guest writer. But remember, I know a lot about you....
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