It's up to you...

We have all scripted phone conversations. Whether it was for your girlfriend in high school or business meetings today, each and every one of us have sat down and made out an agenda before picking up the phone.

Sometimes we needed to fill an awkward silence during a conversation. Other times we needed to break a heart or two. We have all been there; we have all used notes to make us sound better on the phone.

Regardless of the situation, the outcome was usually the same: Scripted conversations make you sound smarter than you really are. During a scripted conversation you are more prepared instead of fumbling in search of the perfect words.

So why don’t we script every call? For one, it takes forever. Secondly, it’s tedious. And third, we just don’t want to put the effort into such a simple task. But imagine if we turned our telephone conversations from monotonous monotone marathons to dynamic and fast paced mini-events that could inspire, motivate and manipulate your dearest friends and loved ones.

You’d pay for that.

But how much would you pay? $1,000? $2,000? $10,000?

Well my friends, today’s your lucky day. Because for only $19.95 a month, I will turn your hum-drum telephone calls into notable occurrences. Your conversations will now include jokes, information on current events, banter and manipulation techniques that are guaranteed to make you the hit of your circle of influence.

Suddenly, your calls will sound more like bits on the radio and less like those horrible driver’s education videos in school where all you heard was WA WA WA.

In today’s world, nearly all of our communication is done over the phone or through texting and emailing. You can go years without ever meeting an individual you communicate with. If you could make that person feel better everyday, how much more would he or she like you? How much better would your relationship be with your siblings, parents and or boss?

Imagine it, you see your mom is calling, you log onto my site and before you know it, she is laughing so hard that she completely forgets to ask why you don’t have more kids, have too many kids or don’t have any kids at all. Then, before she can begin to nag you about your diet, you are 3 minutes into a mini-stand-up routine that Chris Rock would be proud of and she hangs up the phone wondering how her child is so completely wonderful.

Or, you're caught with your boss on the phone and he/she is just about to ask you about the important assignment you blew off, when suddenly you throw in a one-liner about the Inauguration and you are off the hook.

But this phenomenal service does not only include inbound calls. You will also receive special notes for birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. But that’s not all, sign up today and you will receive our special “Bad News” package, that includes elegant and thoughtful ways to end relationships, decline party invites and let people know it is time to go on a diet or change their hair.

The ball is now in your court. Through our remarkable technology, you have the power to sound better on the phone. Shouldn’t you put your money where your mouth is…?

PS – I’m kidding….ahhhh, unless you really want to pay me $20 a month. Then, I’m your man.