Manipulation, Thy Name is Sydney...

I have tried to teach my children the keys to happiness. I believe that they should be kind, loving and service oriented. I firmly believe that if you can teach a child to master a trait that will make them happier and more successful, you will enhance your children and their future. However, one of my children has taken my teachings to a higher level, a level that will so outperform my skills that it makes me weep for joy. The skill she chooses to emulate is manipulation.

Sydney or the chosen one, as I was will call her from this point on, is a powerful manipulator who gets what she wants, no matter the time or the place. While she is only three years old, she has the uncanny knack of being able to make the world revolve around her and her wishes instantaneously, no matter the circumstance.

She is not afraid to resort to bribery, extortion, emotional distress, physical pain of psychological warfare to accomplish her goals. The force is strong with this one. She is a chip off the ol’ block. A true master’s apprentice.

Take the other night for example, she was trying to get on our bed to go to sleep. Holly is not having any of it, but we all know how to get to Holly, she is simple, she is an easy break. Sydney climbs up on her bed, whispers in her ear, “I’ll play with your hair. I’ll play with your hair for a long time.”

Playing with Holly’s hair will get you everywhere. Take it from me. I know. It works. It works 100 percent of the time. She may be adamant about something, but if you sit next to her and run your hands through her hair, victory is only seconds away.

But if on the odd chance that running your hands through her hair does not work, like this particular night, Sydney knew what to do next. “I’ll tickle your back. I’ll tickle your back for a long time.” That, my friends, is all she wrote. But to see Sydney’s true manipulation skills in action, you simply need to keep reading.

As Holly helps Sydney onto the bed, I get up to get a drink of water. Sensing a golden opportunity, Sydney jumps onto my side of the bed, rolls over and says to Holly, “Tickle my back.” Hearing this, Holly says, “Do not pull the rug out from under me, you promised.” To which, as all good manipulators do when they have someone trapped, Sydney replies, “You would just be alone now anyway, with Daddy gone, so you tickle my back. I know you hate to be alone.”

As Holly tickles her back, I walk back into the room and see Sydney spread out on my side of the bed, asleep. Beaten, I take the couch which is 2 feet away and Sydney sleeps the night away knowing she has been victorious.

Two nights later, not wanting to fall for the same trick, Holly will not let Sydney get up on the bed. Sydney promptly tells Holly that she is never going to play with her hair again and goes out of the room and slams the door.

Five minutes later, Sydney comes back into the room, tells Holly that she is not happy with the last encounter and asked her to tell her, one more time, that she can not sleep on her bed. Holly obliges, and without a moment’s hesitation, Sydney stands up and says, "Holly (not mom), I’m out of here. Talk to the hand.”

I was laughing so hard I asked her to come back in and before we knew it, Sydney was up in the middle of the bed, with both Holly and I tickling her.

It is not often that the master meets a new master, but the baton is ready to be passed. The master has now become the student and the student is now out to get each and everyone of you. You’ve been warned. But don’t worry, believe me, you won’t see it coming.