Who knew...?

PS – Tom Cruise can’t read. Sad, I know. He has all of those super-human-spy powers; can dance in his underwear, but he can’t read. As he was promoting his new film, which is suppose to suck, on the Late Night with David Letterman Show Monday, someone got the bright idea to have Tom Cruise read the Top 10 list.

I love the Top 10 list more than I love anything on TV. It has provided me with thousands of enjoyable moments throughout my life. If I miss the lists on TV, I read them on the Internet. Secretly, I have always had a deep desire to write them and read them on the show. So, you may say, I have always wanted to do what Tom was doing, which may account for my enjoyment in his failure.

Tom is trying desperately to restore his image after spending a year or so destroying it by picking on all kinds of people, including Matt Lauer. This new Tom has been happy, friendly and really up for almost everything, including reading.

However, reading was not up for him. I am sure his people looked on in shock as they realized that Tom can't read. Now don't get me wrong, he can read enough to get him through the day. He did a fairly good job on most of the list, but as he got to the word Heimlich, he paused, looked at Dave and pointed to the word, as if this was some new invention that was brand new to him and all those within the sound of his voice.

Dave, being the humanitarian that he is, made Tom wait for about 9 seconds, which seemed like an eternity on TV, before throwing him a lifeline and saying to him, “The word is Heimlich, Tom. Heimlich."

Tom, being blissfully unaware that this word existed before tonight's show, went on his merry way and continued to stumble over the remainder of the list.

So, although you may never have the opportunity to jump on Oprah’s couch and proclaim your love for your spouse, you can take great pride in knowing that as you read your child a bedtime story, somewhere Tom Cruise is wishing he were more like you.

You can watch the clip below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJOzDd0bglo